The Mortal Tragedy

I'm not entirely sure if being mortal is a good or a bad thing yet.  Eventually, like vampires, you would probably lose all humanity, witnessing everyone you once knew and loved dying, disappearing, never to be seen again.  I imagine that it will break anyone, make anyone impervious to death, but isn't the fact that we are mortal make life so unbelievably amazing?

The tragedy in life isn't that we are mortal, it isn't that we will eventually die, it is that we only have so much time.  If you want to learn everything you can, explore everything you can.  You could spend your entire life traveling and still never experience what it's like to live somewhere else, you couldn't take in all the culture, get to know every single person.  So we have to pick and choose, and that's the tragedy.  I chose writing, and have continued to do so.  While pursuing this career path, I am at a job that isn't bad, but it isn't the promised land for me.  And even if I do become a successful author, I still will never experience being a zoologist, a researcher, a marine biologist, rehabilitating lions for reintroduction into the wild, working to save the panda population.  The whole other side of my brain, the one that wants to save the world, has gotten thrown to the side while I march forward, pen and paper in hand, probably destroying the environment more with ink and paper usage than helping it.

So here I sit, looking at a photo I took of an orangutan, and the soft reflection of my forehead appearing in the bottom right corner.  I titled it, "Reflection of a Human."  And it really is human.  Eyes looking up at the sky wondering, nose wrinkled while he chews, all the lines going across his face.  I live vicariously through Animal Planet and other television shows all of the lives I could lead.  I realize I am still young, but even if I do end up getting a degree in Environmental Science, I wouldn't know what to do with it.  If anything, I'm probably safer to spend my time volunteering, especially if I can become a published author.  That way, I can learn on the job, pour my money into some non-profit, and continue writing.

It's the mortal tragedy.

Old Photos

Going through my old photos on my flickr account.  I realize that most of them - the earlier ones - are crap.  Posted prior to much photo editing, me thinking - stupidly - that my photos could actually look good without any finishing.  The colours are muted, dark and murky, and not in a good, artistic way.

This was one of the few shots I took that I feel is actually any good, actually decent without post-production.  It's amazing how much a slight exposure enhancement will take your photo.

This was taken during my really long walk down Hollywood Blvd.  Spring Break, 2007, March-ish.  I was visiting a friend who happened to be my RA my freshman year, and a co-RA my sophomore year in college.  It was a hot day and I had to buy a really expensive 5 dollar drink on my walk just to stay cool.  Since this day, I have lived in Los Angeles for a year and a half, I have never been back to Hollywood Blvd.  I've passed it, sure, but once you "see the stars" there really is no need to go back.  It's too busy, too crowded, too touristy.  There's traffic, beeping, it's loud.  People have this walk associated with some kind of glamour, and though it was fun to be a tourist, once you are a "local" you really want to avoid it at all costs.