I feel like I am falling, drifting into a seemingly endless void. Like my motivation and desire usually does, it comes in spurts, moments in time that I never want to end. The creativity and momentum that I had has seemed to drain out of my fingertips with no recharge station to be found. I need an adventure. A mental break, something to stimulate my mind, prick at my neurons and convince me that I am, in fact, still alive. I had a great weekend, and I don't know what is causing this feeling of helplessness, and I suppose I should be used to these emotional surges by now do to my constant shift in birth control due to problems with the previous. I can't tell what normal feels like any more, not that I would ever be happy with normal. I just wish I had one day where I could feel content, satisfied, not feeling like something was missing.
My love life is perfect. My cats add great joy and frustration, but always bring something new to my day. The food recently has been equisite. But I still feel like there is something missing. Maybe it's Star Island, maybe it's nature, but whatever it is, I need to find it. If I lose my way with writing again, I worry I'll never be able to get it back.
The shallow dream
Gets me every time
The beauty of a dream
Bodes the heart and begs the crime
And here it is
Lost and alone
The shallow dream
Empty promises
and I let it lie
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